Ugly Babies Pact
Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know the title is a bit of an attention grabber and something unspoken in the parenting world but let's be honest ugly babies exist. I have yet to meet a parent that doesn't think their child is the most beautiful creature in the world, or the smartest, or strongest. I totally get it. I'm a mom to four (and my fiance wants more)!
Thinking back (bwahahaha evil laugh), which friends and family will tell you can be dangerous because I am that person that collects and files all antics, memories, stories and fuckery that the chances of a story not being written about you sooner or later are very slim. Today's memory is brought to you from the files titled Shit We Said in Cuba While Being a Butterball. Growing up for a short gap in my life on a Naval Base in Cuba was interesting. You would think spending the beginning of your foundation teen years on a base that spanned 45 square miles of surf and turf and known as the oldest U.S. base overseas would dampen and hinder a teens spirit LMAO! It was the total opposite and when we couldn't do things 'normal' kids stateside were doing we were having the most intelligent and stimulating conversations. The one that triggered this title I assume every girl at least thinks about now or in the future.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a far distant land...probably on "the dock of the bay" or on rocky shores sat a group of girls soaking up the hot Cuban sun. We would randomly talk about the lives we could be having if we were living in the connected 48, boys, and parties. On this particular day the topic was ugly babies. Like when I get married and have babies they will have an amazing olive complexion that tans to a beautiful bronze, light brown eyes, soft hair, are tall and perfect in every aesthetic way and not lack intelligence. We all went around describing our beautiful children along with hopes and dreams. Some people were more ambitious than others when all of a sudden Christeenuh (who will laugh at the fictitious name she created 18 years ago but I will use) said "Hey, what if our baby comes out ugly? No one ever admits when their friend has an ugly baby!" It was then that we all made a pact to be honest and upfront with one another in life when it came to the subject of our future children. We all agreed, if one of us had an ugly child we would tell the parent and that the parent cannot get mad because we are doing one another a service by not letting them remain in Loopyland. We saw it as saving each other from future disparities we have not yet had to actually encounter. I guess we didn't want each other to to believe our imaginary ugly child would someday be a model or actor or even one of those dreamy NFL stars.
Now, 16 years later I laugh about it. On one hand thinking back that is a super funny conversation for a bunch of thirteen year old girls to have and on the other hand I am EXTREMELY relieved that not one of us actually had to hold up to the pact because we have all had strikingly beautiful and handsome children!!!! I know it is soooo crazy but I would have been the one friend (since I remember the pact) to hold it true and tell a friend their child did not in fact win the genetic lottery. Then they would phone another friend and say how horrible I was for actually telling them and I would be the totally craptastic insensitive not real friend for sticking to a pact made 17 years ago!
Obviously people grow and change and for the most part I can say that we all turned out what I believe to be normal. We are more gentle and nurturing and nice and happy go lucky (some naturally, some medicinally). We have learned the art of censorship and sugarcoating. I am not a fan of censorship or sugarcoating and I've lost some friends because of my mouth but I have also made great new friends too!
Thinking back (bwahahaha evil laugh), which friends and family will tell you can be dangerous because I am that person that collects and files all antics, memories, stories and fuckery that the chances of a story not being written about you sooner or later are very slim. Today's memory is brought to you from the files titled Shit We Said in Cuba While Being a Butterball. Growing up for a short gap in my life on a Naval Base in Cuba was interesting. You would think spending the beginning of your foundation teen years on a base that spanned 45 square miles of surf and turf and known as the oldest U.S. base overseas would dampen and hinder a teens spirit LMAO! It was the total opposite and when we couldn't do things 'normal' kids stateside were doing we were having the most intelligent and stimulating conversations. The one that triggered this title I assume every girl at least thinks about now or in the future.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a far distant land...probably on "the dock of the bay" or on rocky shores sat a group of girls soaking up the hot Cuban sun. We would randomly talk about the lives we could be having if we were living in the connected 48, boys, and parties. On this particular day the topic was ugly babies. Like when I get married and have babies they will have an amazing olive complexion that tans to a beautiful bronze, light brown eyes, soft hair, are tall and perfect in every aesthetic way and not lack intelligence. We all went around describing our beautiful children along with hopes and dreams. Some people were more ambitious than others when all of a sudden Christeenuh (who will laugh at the fictitious name she created 18 years ago but I will use) said "Hey, what if our baby comes out ugly? No one ever admits when their friend has an ugly baby!" It was then that we all made a pact to be honest and upfront with one another in life when it came to the subject of our future children. We all agreed, if one of us had an ugly child we would tell the parent and that the parent cannot get mad because we are doing one another a service by not letting them remain in Loopyland. We saw it as saving each other from future disparities we have not yet had to actually encounter. I guess we didn't want each other to to believe our imaginary ugly child would someday be a model or actor or even one of those dreamy NFL stars.
Now, 16 years later I laugh about it. On one hand thinking back that is a super funny conversation for a bunch of thirteen year old girls to have and on the other hand I am EXTREMELY relieved that not one of us actually had to hold up to the pact because we have all had strikingly beautiful and handsome children!!!! I know it is soooo crazy but I would have been the one friend (since I remember the pact) to hold it true and tell a friend their child did not in fact win the genetic lottery. Then they would phone another friend and say how horrible I was for actually telling them and I would be the totally craptastic insensitive not real friend for sticking to a pact made 17 years ago!
Obviously people grow and change and for the most part I can say that we all turned out what I believe to be normal. We are more gentle and nurturing and nice and happy go lucky (some naturally, some medicinally). We have learned the art of censorship and sugarcoating. I am not a fan of censorship or sugarcoating and I've lost some friends because of my mouth but I have also made great new friends too!
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